There have been no promises that the seasons of our life would be free of cloudy days, droughts, or storms. It should, therefore, come as no surprise that everyday hundreds of farm and ranch families, like yours, face the beginning of a new day knowing that a family member has experienced an injury or illness that is unlikely to go away. With little or no opportunity for input from you, you have become a caregiver. You are not alone. More than 49 million Americans have some type of disability. The impact of a disabling injury or illness leads to many changes. Disability can bring about...
You need to recognize negative emotions and signs of burn-out early so you can begin to deal with them. Recognition of the first warning signs may enable you to respond more appropriately and prevent harmful consequences such as depression. The following is a list of danger signals:
"On the days that your day-to-day care begins to get to me, you seem to sense it - then pick just the right moment to say, 'Thank you, honey' or 'Gee, I love you.'" - Penny Piper, Davenport, Washington
Don't wait until you are sick or until you have reached the end of your rope. Seek out help from friends, family or others today and take positive steps toward overcoming the stress. Here are a few ways to deal with negative emotions and prevent yourself from becoming burned out.
Keeping a positive attitude will reduce the buildup of negative feelings and the effects of stress. It has been said, "Life is 10 percent what happens to us and 90 percent how we react to it."
Decide which factors are not important enough for you to worry about at this time. Then brainstorm on ways you can begin to give more attention to the items causing the most stress and choose to leave tile other issues for another day.
The most effective caregivers learn to set aside time to care for themselves physically, emotionally, spiritually, and socially. Ensuring that you have time for activities that refresh you such as spending time with a friend, walking alone in the woods, enjoying music and completing a craft can prove very therapeutic.
As a caregiver, you may need help from others to successfully meet upcoming challenges. Making transfers, loading and unloading wheelchairs, and lifting heavy medical equipment all take time,
energy, and effort. Yet, you may be reluctant to ask others for help. Some caregivers find help from friends, family, church or other local organizations. A close friendship with just one other person can make a big difference in making it through tough times.
Now that you are faced with new challenges you must commit to keeping your family together. It will not be easy, but it will be worth it in the long run. If you are facing some frustrating moments in your marriage consider these suggestions:
"I believe commitment is for life and when something terrible happens to you I feel like part of that commitment is sticking it out, staying in there, helping that other person." - Helen Thomas, Tangier, Indiana
After a disability impacts your home, it often becomes necessary to change roles within your family. As a family, discuss: Which tasks are essential? Can some tasks be eliminated? Can some tasks be postponed? What new tasks can each family member learn? Who is the best person to do these tasks? The entire family needs to rethink who can do each task best, because of this new season in your family's life.
"Before the accident, my job was to take care of the children and the house, and I was working full time in town. After the accident, I still had to do that and farm chores too." -- Kimberly Zimmerman, Courtland, Minnesota
"Love of family, joy of living, faith in God, trust in each other, and respect for the bond of family teamwork were proved to us..." -- Marilyn Shankster, Silver Lake, Indiana
Helping your family work together as a team is definitely a key to helping you, as the caregiver, reduce some of the stress you are facing.
Ideas that can help your family work more effectively as a team are:
This resource is a self-contained resource package targeting rural caregivers. This resource can be used by both new and experienced caregivers to learn how to achieve and maintain a healthy balance in their own lives while positively impacting their families. This resource can also be used by rehabilitation professionals to help new caregivers in preparing for the stresses associated with caring for an individual with a disability or illness.
This resource was recognized by the National Council on Aging with a 1997 Innovative Caregivers Award. The resource package features an encouraging 45-minute video tape with advice from caregivers from across the country, experts in the field of caregiving, and an assistive technology specialist. A Leader's Guide and overhead transparency masters equip you with everything you need for presenting to small groups or providing a workshop. Additionally, a written resource filled with color photos and a brochure are included, which provide advice on many aspects of caregiving.
Specifically, caregivers and professionals can:
Cooperative Extension work in Agriculture and Home Economics, state of Indiana, Purdue University, and U.S. Department of Agriculture cooperating: H.A. Wadsworth, Director, West Lafayette, IN. Issued in furtherance of the acts of May 8 and June 30, 1914. Purdue University Cooperative Extension Service is an equal opportunity/equal access institution. This material may be available in alternative formats.
This material is based on work supported by the Cooperative Research, Education and Extension Service, U.S. Department of Agriculture, Project No. 96-EDFA-1-0033, Successful Farming Magazine and the Breaking New Ground Resource Center, Purdue University, West Lafayette, Indiana.